Everyone has seen movies where a person goes into a confessional booth in a Catholic church and the priest is on the other side of a screen. Very possibly this is the image most people have of what confession is.

But this is only one model or format used for confession. Confession is very different in many Protestant churches. For example, in many Protestant denominations there is no need for a minister to be involved, nor is the minister deemed to have any ability to forgive sin. A person confesses their sins or character defects directly to God and asks for pardon.

12 step programs offer another variation on confession. As part of their 5th step a person can speak to any person they trust whether that person is a lay person, or even an ex-convict without official religious or psychological training of any kind. They then confess the exact nature of their character defects to that person, themselves, and to their “higher power” .

In Buddhist monasteries on a very consistent basis, the monks confess their infractions of the monastic rule to one another in a group setting.

The traditional Jewish observance of Yom Kippur calls for a 25 hour fast as part of the process used by believers as they prepare to confess to God the times they broke the various commandments.

No doubt other traditions have their own myriad variations on how they view sin, or character defects, and how they confess and atone for the times they have transgressed the customs and norms of the traditions.

What I feel is important is that you look into different forms or models of confession to find one that seems true and good for you. Those who do not believe in God will approach this work in ways that are different than those who do.

Yet the work remains to be the same.

What moral compass will you use to distinguish between what is right and wrong?

When you reflect honestly that you have harmed, or wished harm on someone else, what do you do with the results of that reflection?

Do you honestly admit you were wrong and apologize to the person involved, when it is reasonable and reasonably possible to do so? Or, do you stubbornly refuse to admit you did anything wrong or to apologize when it is clear to everyone else that an apology is in order?

When you make an apology is it some half-assed attempt that means you are not really taking any responsibility for what you did, or is it a full and open apology without condition or equivocation?

How you answer these questions and work with these issues will have more to do with you reaching enlightenment or not reaching enlightenment than any other single issue.

Before you can know the truth of this life, you must be willing to face and admit in what ways you have let yourself and others down by how you acted or treated them.

Facing these truths is a humbling experience.

Confessing this truth to God, or to a trusted mentor or both, is also a humbling experience.

When direct amends can be made, without causing further harm to the injured person, this process continues to deepen the sense of awkwardness and humility.

Look closely at how you feel when you engage these practices with an open heart and a very, sincere spirit. But certainly step back from some morbid obssessiveness or excessively rigid code of rules.

Look closely at how you feel when you realize you have hurt yourself or someone else.

If you believe in God, then use the process of confessing to God, either through a priest or directly, to clarify your understanding of the nature of God and your relationship to this “higher power.”

See how you feel as you do this.

If you do not believe in God, then see how your interior experience of life changes and how the gates to the castles of insight and wisdom swing open for you when you engage this and related practices.

People search for esoteric doctrines or special practices and these efforts have their value.

But most miss that real progress with meditation is simpler than they may have heard.

When you are wrong admit it. Good skills with mindfulness will make it more possible to clearly see when this is the case.

When you do something hurtful make amends to the person you have harmed when it is possible to do so without causing further harm.

Make a sincere effort to change offending habits and thought patterns.

Repeat the process when you need to because you probably will need to time and time again until one day you learn to really change your ways.

But then one day you will realize that fundamental change has come into your life.

One day you will realize you are closer to the goal of perfect peace and wisdom than you ever really expected was possible.

All the best.

Will Raymond  Author of “The Simple Path of Holiness”  Host of MeditationPractice.com.

will@meditationpractice.com 774-232-0884

“Who do you love in this world with whom you have little or no conflict?” This is the third question of the Simple Path that I have been writing about for the past five weeks. Please see at least 2 or 3 of the preceeding posts for background.

It is simple. To access the deeper states of peace available in silent meditation one has to learn how to wash away all the resentments, anger, and harsh judgments of others.

For almost all of us this is a very difficult aspect of practice. This is particularly true of those who are the victims of emotional or physical violence or who are victims of political repression, raw greed, and economic violence.

Still, to break free from the endless cycles of the anger, fear, alienation, restless aching hunger, and confusion most of us experience on a regular basis, we need to learn to forgive the unforgiveable and to love the unloveable.

The problem is that many people feel they can’t or do not want to do such a difficult task. They are just too angry at someone in their personal life who has hurt them, or is currently hurting them badly. Or they are just too angry at some group of politicians, or those people they describe as “welfare parasites” or “corporate criminals” or “media scumbags” or whoever is seen as “the enemy” or “the bad hated ones.”

The secret to this practice is this: do not try to forgive those you cannot forgive. Do not try to force yourself to love those you cannot love. Just know that you do not want to forgive or love them. Just be more and more aware of what it feels like, in your body and in your mind, to resent or hate them.

Just know that someday you want to learn how to forgive those who by all ordinary reckoning deserve neither love nor forgiveness.

Come back and heal the relationship with yourself by being more gentle and patient as you try to forgive yourself for any poor choices you have made.

Come back to the relationship you have with those you love the most and with whom you have little or no conflict. See what it feels like to enhance the quality of love you give to them.

If you believe in God or the holy spirit or universal energy of life, come back to that relationship and see what you can do to open your heart and mind to the deepening communion with this mysterious “holy other.” If you do not believe in God, then see how you can deepen your sense of connection with all who live or your appreciation for the mystery of life and existence.

These practices will begin to heal and enrich the core of your personality.

These practices will give you new skills with love, respect, vulnerability, honesty, listening, and generosity. These skills will generate deeper experiences of love and communion.

During times of meditation the breath will slow and become very silken as you breathe in and out. During times of meditation any knots in your neck or stomach will loosen noticeably and then for at least a while be gone completely.

These deeper states of peace will clear your heart and mind by degree. Over time you will gain a more visceral sense of how anger, resentment, violent thoughts, acts, and the harsh judgment of others, are among the chief forces destroying the nations of the world.

You will come to know that love and forgiveness are not just some nice sounding words for Sunday morning. You will come to know the urgency of love in small things and in great things and in all things.

Over time forgiving the unforgiveable, and loving the unloveable, will simply be part of the work you will have learned to do and to teach to others.

Those who believe in God will engage this practice in different ways than will those who do not. But the core practice is very similar.

Very little of this is easy. Very little of this is quick. Be patient with yourself as you will likely experience many setbacks with anger and harsh judgment.

Peace,

Will Raymond  Author of “The Simple Path of Holiness” Host of MeditationPractice.com

will@meditationpractice.com   774-232-0884

“Who do you love in this world with whom you have little or no conflict?” This is the third question of the Simple Path that I have been writing about for the past four weeks. Please see the four preceeding posts for background.

While people with different beliefs will work with this question in different ways this question is just as valuable for those who believe in God, those who do not, and those who are not sure what they believe.

Before moving on to other questions of love and practice, I want to offer these remarks on love.

Is there anyone you actually love?

Do you actually feel any love for those you love, or do you just say you love them?

Do you actually love those you say you love or have you just developed an emotional or financial dependency on having them provide the strength and support or identity you lack within yourself?

Do you actually love those you say you love or do you just say you do so you can have the sex you want with those with whom sex is part of your relationship?

If there are other feelings mixed in with the love you have for those you say you love, what are those mixed feelings?

Do you still the love the people you once loved? Or, have they or you changed so much they really are not the same person anymore and you are more or less going through the motions of saying you love them out of obligation, inertia, or ignorance?

But, if you do love those you say you love, what does this love feel like?

What do you need to do to feel this love more delicately, more tenderly, and more often?

How can you further refine the feelings of love you have?

How can you feel your love, and the giving of your love more consistently?

Some scientists and some biologists believe that love is just a biochemical reaction generated within us as an adaptation of evolution.

Perhaps they are right. Perhaps they are wrong.

You will have to decide this question for yourself.

But if you wish to find out, here is a good way to do so.

Improve the quality of love and kindness you offer to your own life.

Improve the gentleness of the tone you use when speaking to yourself when you have made some dubious, or downright foolish, mistake or decision.

Improve the quality of the listening skills you employ when you listen to the emotional and practical needs expressed to you by those you love.

Improve the quality of skills you use to discern the genuine emotional needs you have and how you communicate those needs to those you are closest to.

If you have any fears you have about loss or betrayal or abandonment or judgment, how are those fears affecting the way the way you try to control those you love?

For those who believe in God, see what happens if you purify the love and affection you offer to the lord of heaven, earth, and all the many realms of existence. See how improving the purity of the love you offer to God deepens your experience of God and insights into God’s mysterious nature.

For those who are not sure God exists as you improve the quality of your mortal relationships, see if this does not help you come to a clear answer as to whether God does or does not exist. If you want, you can experiment with the faith practice of seeing how loving God on a daily (hourly) basis generates sturdy and practical evidence that God does exist.

For those who are committed atheists, see how these efforts with love can enrich your family relationships and create more stable and more equitable communities. See how greatly enhanced skills with love transform your skills with reason, logic, and intuition. See how these enhanced skills transform your understanding of the deepest questions of physics, chemistry, biology and the social sciences.

It is simple. The only chance we have as people, the only chance we have as a nation, the only chance we have as a species, is if more of us get much better at love.

Will Raymond Author of “The Simple Path of Holiness” and Host of MeditationPractice.com

774-232-0884   will@meditationpractice.com

“Who do you love in this world with whom you have little or no conflict?” This is the third question of the Simple Path that I have been writing about for the past two weeks. Please see the three preceeding posts for background.

With whatever language is most natural for you, in whatever setting is the right context to have a thoughtful and serious conversation, ask those you love for their candid feedback.”Tell me of any requests you have of me that you feel I am ignoring or responding to with a half-hearted effort?”  “Are there any ways you feel I am disrespecting you or taking you for granted?” “Have I neglected to truly apologize for any wrongs or petty slights I have done to you?”

This is not to imply that all of the feedback youmay receive is of equal value.

Some of the requests others may make of you may not be reasonable. Some of the insights and feedback others may give to you may not be accurate or on point. It may take time and careful reflection to sort out what feedback to respond to compared to that which may simply need to be set aside. But with care and sincerity these discernments can be made.

Also, the point of beginning with those people with whom you are closest and have the least conflict is that the feedback you get will tend to be the most clear and the least challenging. Still, there may be small points, and some points that are not so small, that are blocks or stuck points in the relationships.

Demonstrating a sincere willingness to listen and an equally sincere willingness to change where change is needed will dissolve those minor blocks and stuck points, for every relationship has them. The result will be more trust and a truly equal sharing of power in the relationship. The channel between you and these other people will be that much more open, and more love and regard will be able to flow between the two of you in this widening and brightening channel.

It is simple, there is so much more that is possible with love and mortal relationships than most of us are presently able to see or access.

And isn’t it amazing? All that is needed to see how much more is possible is to truly listen to those you love and to make sincere efforts to change one’s behaviors according to the reasonable requests they make of you.

Working carefully with the relationships where there is little in the way of conflict will give you the strength and clarity of intuition to proceed to work on those relationships where there are perhaps moderate levels of conflict. From there you can proceed to any relationships where there is little or no love, and then to those where there may be high degrees of frustration or resentment. 

But a real problem exists for many people. That problem is this: there is very little love in the relationships they have and very few people they are close to.

Taking the time to see if this is the case is a good beginning to at least understand what is missing from your life. From that vantage point you can see how valuable it would be to learn how to find new and creative ways to improve the quality of the relationships you do have.

Others have a more difficult problem. All ,or almost all, of their primary relationships are riddled with high degrees of conflict and frustration.

However full, or desicated, or conflicted your relationships may be, each of us have more relationships in our life than we are aware. Whatever may be the case in your life, start with the relationships where there is the least conflict whether it is the cashier at the local grocery store or the person in your 12 step or church group you hardly ever speak to, or your spouse of many years. See if you can offer those people a kind word or gesture or the simple act of silently respecting them when you are in their presence. See if you can do this if you happen to think of them during meditation before you return to your breath of sacred word.

See if you can offer this kind word or silent respect towards yourself as well.

See what blooms from this garden.

See how simple acts of respect and kindness can change the world.

Peace

Will Raymond   Author of “The Simple Path of Holiness” Host of MeditationPractice.com.

774-232-0884  will@meditationpractice.com

“Who do you love in this world with whom you have little or no conflict?” This is the third question of the Simple Path that I have been writing about for the past two weeks. Please see the two preceding posts for background.

How long or short is this list?

When you think of these people, one by one, do you get the sense the relationship is a bit stunted or is the channel between you and they open, bright and opening wider?

There is a simple reason this is an essential question. Whether you make any progress with the study of silent meditation depends on one basic practice. Are you willing to improve the quality of love you offer to others and to receive more openly the love others wish to give to you? It just happens that the best way to begin serious work with this aspect of the spiritual path is to reflect on those relationships you are closest to and with which you have the least conflict.

While those who believe in God will engage this exercise differently than will those who do not believe in God the work remains to be essential to anyone seeking deeper experiences of peace in silent meditation.

If you find you are surprised at how few people there are in this life you really love, that is good information. If you come to realize the channel you have with one or more of these people is constricted, that is good information. If you come to realize that you often do not feel much in the way of love and connection for those you say you love, that is good information. If you come to realize there are many people in this world you love, and that the channels you have to them are open and bright and opening wider, that is good information. If you realize you often feel the love you hold in your heart for others and that you often feel loved by others, that is good information. If this is the case, never, never forget how fortunate you are.

This process is an excellent way to think more consciously about your skills with love and the health of your primary relationships. It is simple. As you heal and enrich your most viable relationships, the love you give and receive will sustain and transform you. The deepening love you come to feel will give you the strength and intuitive skill to work with those relationships that are more conflicted. Some day, with real work and probably quite a few setbacks, you will learn a critical lesson; how to love the unloveable.

When you learn that lesson you will find yourself sitting on the cliffs that overlook the lakes of heaven and it really is quite a view.

Are you good at love?  Great. What do you need to do to get even better?

Is there room for improvement in the quality of love and respect you have to offer to others?  Then do not shy away from that work and certainly do not be embarrassed by the fact that you may have some work to do.

Ask yourself this question, “What reasonable requests are being made to me by those I care about the most to change certain behaviors or attitudes? To what degree am I ignoring or only giving lip service to their requests?

More next week.

Let me know what you find as you engage this exercise? All constructive comments will be posted.

Will Raymond Author of The Simple Path of Holiness and Host of MeditationPractice.com

774-232-0884  will@meditationpractice.com

Last week I wrote some opening remarks about the third question of the Simple Path, “Who do you love in this world with whom you have little or no conflict?”

Before you can achieve any high degree of wisdom or enlightenment in this life it is necessary to learn to offer love to all who live as a central theme of your life. This is just as true for the atheist or secular humanist as it is for those who follow a God centered religion.

But most of us are angry at someone. It may be someone in our past or our present, someone in our family or our workplace. It may be some news commentator we believe distorts the truth in a partisan manner. It may be some hypocritical spokesperson of the poor, or some greedy corporate baron seeking to control elections through massive campaign contributions. It may be some political leader or some vicious gang member in  the neighborhood that everyone is rightly afraid of.

For most people it will take a while before they uncover their “Anger List.” The workshop on this web site called “The Anger List” will help. For most people it will take a good long time before they are even willing to try to “love their enemies” as a Jewish friend of mine once suggested was the way to go.

But anyone and everyone can start with these more elementary efforts:

You can sit in silence and stillness alone or with others. You can sit in a chair or in some cross legged posture. You can call to mind the people you love the most with whom you have little or no conflict. You can learn to offer positive wishes for their well being on a more regular basis.

“May my wife or husband be happy, may they be well. May they know the joy, health and prosperity all men/women seek for their life and their family.”

“May my boy friend/girl friend be happy, may they be well. May they know the joy, health and prosperity all men/women seek for their life and their family.”

“May my parents and my children be happy, may they be well…..”

“May my brothers and sisters be happy, may they be well……”

“May be nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles be happy, may they be well……”

“May my best friends be happy. May they be well.”

The process begins with offering positive wishes with an open and sincere heart.

This will help you remember that some of the deepest wishes of your heart are that those you love will be safe and happy in this beautiful but troubled world.

Offering these positive wishes silently within yourself will call forth feelings of love and care, of hope and benevolent intentions. You can then spend more time with the feelings of love and hope and offering these feelings on a more consistent basis.

It is like a person who instead of going to the gym once a month to work out, begins to do some exercises several times per week. The increase in benefits from offering positive wishes to others on a more regualr basis will be just as noticeable.

Please let me know what you find as you do this practice. All constructive comments will be posted.

More next week.

Will Raymond Author of The Simple Path of Holiness host of MeditationPractice.com

774-232-0884   will@meditationpractice.com

The third question of the Simple Path is another question that works just as well for people who believe in God, those who do not, and those who are not sure one way or the other.

This third question is, “Who do you love in this world with whom you have little or no conflict?”

To make any real progress in the search for wisdom, or the deeper stages of peace, one needs to learn, at a realistic pace, to love all who live. But for people with major resentments and tendencies towards harsh judgement of others this is not an easy thing to do. For many people, especially those who have been badly hurt by others, this is a long term goal that needs to be approached gradually and indirectly.

Clarifying one’s core truths and serious doubts and questions about what to believe is a good first step. Healing one’s relationship with themselves by learning to offer love and forgiveness towards their own life is another essential building block. Embracing the realities of one’s life with greater acceptance, courage, and patience is another part of this.

But before one can perceive the value of forgiving the unforgivable, and before one can develop the capacity to do so, it is of primary importance to start with more basic efforts. These efforts also may not be easy, but they are much easier than loving the unlovable.

This easier effort is to turn your attention to the relationships in your life you are closest to with whom you have the least conflict. Part of this effort is to pause for a moment to realize how many (or how few) people there are in your life that you feel a genuine sense of love for. Another part of this effort is to pause to see whether you feel much in the way of love for others at all.

For most people, when they really stop to think about it, their list is fairly short. There may be only 1 or 2 or 3-6 people at the most they genuinely love and feel emotionally and physically safe around.

How short or long is the list of those people you love the most with whom you have little to no conflict or irritation with?

This is the island within that is the island of safety a person has to work with. Most people will find it is a pretty small island surrounded by a very large sea of the other people in their life and in the larger society in which they live.

How does one further awaken the sense of kindness and love they have to offer?

What does it feel like to love someone?

What does it feel like to call up, or awaken, the sentiments of love and positive wishes that you offer to those you love? How does one summon this sense of love and positive sentiment during meditation? How does one then offer this love in silence and stillness?

The answer is that with practice and sincerity and the guidance and example of mature other people, we stumble our way to being better at love. Those who believe in God can draw upon the divine assistance for help with their efforts. Those who do not will rely on their own efforts and the help of noble friends. Those who are confused about what to believe can just be confused as they seek to improve their skills with love.

What work do you need to do to improve the quality of love and respect you offer to those you love and respect? What do you need to do to improve the openness and vulnerability with which you receive the love and respect others are trying to offer to you?

No one knows exactly how much of the spiritual path is about learning to improve the iur skills with love. But it is a major portion of all the work we do both in meditation and the active hours of our life.

More next week. Please let me know what you think. All constructive comments will be posted.

Will Raymond Author of “The Simple Path of Holiness” host of MeditationPractice.com.

will@meditationpractice.com   774-232-0884

For the past 2 weeks I have been writing about the basic practice of forgiving yourself for any poor choices that made your life or the lives of others more difficult.

This practice is needed before one can move on to improve the quality of love and forgiveness one offers to others. But forgiving one’s self for poor or terrible choices is often not that easy for a number of reasons. Here is one of them:

The poor choices many made earlier in life has generated a set of life conditions that are truly painful and difficult to overcome. A poor choice in a marriage partner, or mismanagement of personal finances leading to a major decline in one’s standard of living, or both, are two good examples. Committing a crime that lands one in prison is another. Crashing the car or even killing someone while driving drunk is a third example of a terrible choice that makes day to day living genuinely difficult.

For others it might be harsh words or deeds they inflicted on children or a lover or parent  where the guilt pinches on a regular basis many long years after the words were said or the deeds committed.

The problem in all these scenarios is this: It takes every bit of available energy a person can get to deal with tough life conditions such as marital problems, divorce problems, money problems, issues on the job, being imprisoned, or living with the guilt that someone is in a wheel chair for life because of their drunk driving. This is just as true for people with less dramatic problems such as running up high credit card bills, or buying the wrong house, or taking a job that turned out to be a major career set back. When a person has difficult challenges that can take months or years to work through it can be very discouraging. The consequences of poor choices are staring them right in the face on a very regular basis. Emotions of regret and harsh judgement of self can arise often during the day or the week or the month or the year. An inner voice kicks in that says, “If only you hadn’t made such poor choices you would not have these difficult problems to deal with. How could you have been so thoughtless? How could you have been so blind or stupid or just plain mean and selfish? Look how you let your family down?”

During meditation practice and throughout the day look carefully at any feelings of regret, self-reproach, or harsh judgement of yourself for having made poor or terrible choices as these feelings arise. Cultivate the mindfulness needed to see these feelings as they first bubble up within you before they gather too much momentum. Remember, no one living can change a single detail of the past. Remember you need all the available energy in your mind and body to deal with the genuine challenges of your life as they unfold day to day. Finally and completely forgiving yourself is one of the best ways to free up the energy you need to clean up the consequences of the poor choices.

Seeing regrets and harsh judgements of self as they arise and pass will allow you to remember to remember, “I cannot change the past. But I can change the way I relate to the memories and choices of the past as I seek to cope with present challenges.”

While there may be other work to be done to make atonement to others for poor, selfish, or just plain stupid choices, you can start the process by forgiving yourself completely whether others do or not.

“It is time to forgive myself for poor choices I have made in the past.”

“It is time to improve the quality of awareness, patience, and compassion I apply to the experiences I have now in working with the consequences of poor choices in the past.

Those who believe in God in one specific religious context or another will process forgiveness of self in ways that are different from those who are atheists or agnostics. What is important is that you find a method that works well for you.

Let me know what works for you? All constructive comments will be posted.

Peace and all the best,

Will Raymond  Author of “The Simple Path of Holiness” host of MeditationPractice.com

774-232-0884  will@meditationpractice.com

Last week I posed the 2nd question of the Simple Path, “How do you feel about being you?”

Before you will be able to access deeper experiences of peace you will need to learn, over time, how to dissolve feelings of resentment and harsh judgements of others. This is a foundation truth and practice of both Christian and Buddhist meditation traditions. While the Simple Path suggests a much more gradual and realistic approach as to how to be able to actually do this, the fact remains that this work needs to be done.

But before you can do the work of offering love to all who live, you will need to learn how to truly forgive yourself for any poor choices you made which added to the difficulties of your life or the lives of others.

You will need to learn how to offer positive wishes and love towards your own life and heart.

How does one start to wash away any feelings or regret, or harsh judgment of self, or desires to hide from or run away from one’s feelings?

As you start your meditation session you can come up with your own prayers to say along these lines.

“It is time to fully forgive myself for any poor choices which made my life or the lives of other more difficult.”

“There may be significant work to do to make amends to those I have harmed, but for now I have to learn how to forgive myself for having made poor or disastrous choices.”

“I understand others may not forgive me, but at least I need to forgive myself.”

Whatever words work for you, whether they are clunky or wordy such as the ones above, it is the sentiment and the sincerity that counts the most. After a few minutes with these prayers and sentiments you can lead to something simpler life this:

“May I be happy. May I be well.”

“May I learn how to access deeper stages of peace.”

After these words you can proceed to offer positive wishes to those you love the most, but the work to forgive yourself completely needs to happen.

Those who believe in God will work with this process of self-forgiveness in different ways from those who do not believe. The good news is that you can engage this work whether you do believe in God or not, or are not sure what to believe.

The difficult news is that you will not be able to make much progress with meditation or any other practice of love and service until you do give yourself a “get out of jail free card.”

What is important to fully comprehend is this: You cannot change one detail of what has happened in the past. You may be surprised how difficult it can be to fully engage this foundation insight.

What you can change is how you relate to the memories and wounds of the past. This simple but powerful practice will help you greatly as you tend to the wounds and genuine challenges of the present.

Please let me know what prayers of forgiveness of self and acceptance of self you come up with. I would be glad to share those prayers with others if you feel comfortable sending them along.

Will Raymond Author of “The Simple Path of Holiness” and host of MeditationPractice.com

will@meditationpractice.com   774-232-0884

Before you can heal any challenges with low self-esteem, or exaggerated high self-esteem in your life it is necessary to first see such feelings as they arise.

Before you can heal any challenges with harsh judgment of others, it is necessary to first see and touch any feelings of harsh self-judgment you have.

One way to begin to see such feelings is to ask the question, “How do you feel about being you?”

Do you compare yourself to others and feel “less than” or “greater than” whoever you are comparing yourself to?

If you make some mistake whether it is minor or significant do you tend say things to yourself such as “How could you be so stupid?”, or “You idiot!”, or “There you go again!”

It is important to get a sense of how you relate to yourself. How do you feel about being you?

 Have you made some poor choices that harmed your life and others?

Do you have some very real problems in your present daily life such as financial, legal, educational, or relationship issues that resulted from some poor or unskillful choices you made in the past? If this is the case it can be particularly difficult to forgive oneself, or to “let go” of regrets when in fact your present life continues to be harder again and again because of past choices.

What is essential is to observe mindfully any feelings of low self-esteem, exaggerated high self-esteem (i.e. conceit, arrogance etc) harsh judgment of self, or feelings of inadequacy as they arise within you.

Watch closely any such feelings or tendencies as they arise and as they pass. You can apply this meditation practice during formal times of sitting and stillness and in the active hours of your life for such feelings may arise both during meditation and in active life.

Do you accept your life as it is now?

Can you forgive yourself for any poor choices you made in the recent or distance past?

Can you openly face and name the primary challenges of your current life even if you are not sure how to meet those challenges. Can you accept the difficulties you may be having with finance or romance, health or employment? Or are you locked in denial, or escapist flight, or bitterly resenting that you have the troubles in your life especially when you think of someone who does not have your troubles?

There is a simple truth in all these things. Life is often difficult and painful. Many of us are locked in a struggle for emotional or financial or medical survival where the outcome is far from certain. Many feel that perhaps meditation and yoga and related disciplines of this kind can help them.

They are right.

Meditation can help you discipline your mind to be present to the present moment. You can learn to observe feelings and attitudes as they arise.

If you can catch these feelings when they start to surface you can then begin to engage the process of being more patient, more loving, and more accepting of your life with the all the strengths and weakness, with all the virtues and character defects, with all the joys and the troubles of your adult life.

As you heal the conflicts within, you will be far more able to heal the conflicts you have with others. As you heal the conflicts with others, you will be well on our way to the wisdom, love, and liberation that is the goal of the simple practice of sitting in stillness and silence and observing our life as you find it now. But acceptance of your life as it is now does not mean you are not going to try to change what you are able to change. It is just that the process of change begins when we face and accept the reality of our life as we find it now.

This is a paradox, but then many of the most importance lessons of the spiritual life come clothed in a paradox.

More next week

Will Raymond Author of The Simple Path of Holiness and host of MeditationPractice.com

will@meditationpractice.com   774-232-0884